i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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