Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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