My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
