you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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