My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
