it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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