At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
