dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
