D3 body, D1 cock
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
