Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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