I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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