Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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