i don't plan on having that self control this summer
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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