is your mom at the bar?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
