i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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