he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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