If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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