Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
