Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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