i think i have two assholes
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
