you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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