Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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