dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
worst night to have a conscience
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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