you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
