dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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