he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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