If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
