Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
