So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
