i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
