i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
