Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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