i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
