My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize