whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
