yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
