when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
