I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
