Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
