That's intense
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize