Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
