if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
only you would photoshop your dick
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
