either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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