Your favorite bartender is back from prision
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
