Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
