??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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