I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
