Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm like, not good at living.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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