I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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