I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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