Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
