honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
