My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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