Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
